Being Single Is The Best Remedy There Is

Stop Feeling the Need to Fall in Love

When we have stomachaches or headaches, we take the pill. When our heart faces issues, we go to counseling. But when it comes to love, we often hope our partner will be everything we ever dreamed of — s/he will solve all the problems we have.

Love is not a one-way street. Our love manifests when we find others that would also reciprocate the same love back to us. For years, I have sought love like it’s a treasure hunt, something that I have to find. I met my previous boyfriend at a dating event. When we matched in that event, I felt like all the stars have aligned for me. But probably, very likely, that moment was just another ordinary moment. I don’t want to downgrade or degrade that special moment, but perhaps I have put too much meaning into it.

The thirst for love often translates to a thirst for lust. And quenching our thirst of lust, as we all know, results in a much dryer, lonely heart. Especially in the gay world, I feel this is a crisis and issue that need to be addressed. I have personally done this way too many times as well. That moment when you are done with a hookup, and you regret it — for all the right reasons. Hookups aren’t all bad; as long as it’s well-communicated in advance, it’s a good “fun” activity that can alleviate our stress.

According to “Attached,” there are generally 3 types of patterns people manifest when they’re in a relationship: the anxious type, avoidant, and the secure one. None of the types are bad — they’re merely how we react in alarming scenarios. The anxious type will have a higher chance of “acting out” as soon as s/he finds out something odd about their partner. The avoidant might throw everything away, forget all the past commitments, and walk away from the instant the relationship gets harder. While none of the types are bad, some types combined can be bad. An avoidant shouldn't be with an anxious type.

I mean, I get it. If my boyfriend were that jealous type who constantly raised suspicions, I’d probably run as a semi-avoidant.

It’s the clash of individual freedom that creates tension.

In a broader term, each one of us alone has our own freedom and is actually incapable of doing anything bad…

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