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10 Essential People Skills You Need to Succeed

People skills are an essential part of work, life and social success. When you have strong people skills, you are better able to:

People skills are one of the most underappreciated areas of career development. In career development, we are lucky if we have the occasional soft skills training or communication course. I believe interpersonal intelligence, or PQ, needs to be honed. Just like we develop our IQ, we need to work on our PQ. People smarts are just as important as book smarts.

Second, is your interaction ability. This is how well you predict and decode behavior. In an interaction, can you empathize with someone? Are you highly perceptive?

This is the ultimate soft skills list. Read through the following people skills and examine your own interpersonal strengths and weaknesses. Here at the Science of People lab, we have found 10 skills that come up over and over again with highly effective individuals.

Do you stand up for yourself in social situations? Do you feel confident interacting with others? Are you assertive with your social needs? Social assertiveness is essential for conserving social energy.

We only have so much social energy to spare. If you are socially assertive, you are able to save and spend your social energy in the right ways. If you lack social assertiveness, your energy is wasted on the wrong people, in awkward situations, or not aligned with your social goals. People with high social assertiveness have more focused social energy and have more clarity in their interactions:

People with low social assertiveness:

People with high social assertiveness are able to:

Action Step: Extroverts, ambiverts and introverts all have different levels of social energy. Figure out if you are an extrovert, introvert or ambivert so you can spend your social energy efficiently.

Are you memorable? Do you make a strong first impression? Do people remember your name after meeting you? People with a great presence have an easy time making lasting connections and are extremely good at rapport building. Your presence has a direct relationship with your ability to create lasting personal relationships and build a network. If you have a strong presence, people gravitate towards you, remember you better and are more likely to work with you.

People with a weak presence:

People with a memorable presence:

Do you enjoy public speaking and presenting? Specifically, are you comfortable communicating your ideas to large groups? Master communicators know how to present themselves and effectively get their message across.

Poor communicators tend to:

Master communicators excel at:

Action Step: I would love to show you how to master public speaking. Most people think this is a skill you cannot learn–not true! Anyone can learn to be a master communicator. Start with our video on How to Work a Stage Like a Pro:

Do you ever feel socially anxious? Everyone feels a little bit of nervousness in some social situations, but the question is: Can you overcome your social anxiety? People who can sustain lasting confidence are able to conquer their shyness and avoid awkwardness. They might have internal strategies or mantras to get them through their anxiety or they have socialized enough to overcome any nervous tendencies.

People with high social anxiety:

People who can sustain social confidence:

The First Five Minutes: This is your first impression and when you decide if someone is worth getting to know. It can happen professionally, romantically or socially. This level is the front door — can you get invited inside someone’s inner circle?

The First Five Hours: Once you have made it past the first level, you get to have a first meeting, first phone call or first date. This is when you move past first impressions into rapport building.

The First Five Days: This is the final level. You want people in this level who you would be happy to do a weekend road trip with. It’s the ultimate level of trust and connection. This could be romantic — with a partner, but it could also be with a long-term business partner or best friend.

Conversation is the key to moving up these three levels. People who struggle with conversation:

Master conversationalists:

People who are not likable:

Highly likable people:

Would you consider yourself highly perceptive? People who are good at reading people are exceptionally strong at knowing how others think and feel. Decoding people, having a strong sense of intuition and being very empathetic are the emotional intelligence aspects of interpersonal intelligence. When we look at interpersonal intelligence or people skills, there are 3 main branches.

Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses in different aspects of interpersonal intelligence. People who struggle with decoding:

People with exceptional decoding abilities:

When people ask you, “What do you do?” do you know exactly how to pitch yourself well? When you have to pitch yourself or your ideas, can you do so confidently? Pitching is a very important people skills for professionals because it happens all the time — not just at networking events with your elevator pitch, but also during every meeting when you are asked your opinion, in emails when you introduce yourself and on conference calls. Now, I know it is never easy to brag about yourself, but you should be able to generate excitement around your ideas. Here’s the big question:

When you talk about yourself, can you get people excited to work with you?

People who struggle with pitching themselves and their ideas:

People who are great at pitching themselves:

People who are not charismatic:

People who are highly charismatic:

You do not have to be leading a company or the president of an organization to be considered a leader. Leaders in both work life and social life are able to get buy in, rally teams and generate camaraderie. I do not believe the opposite of a leader is a follower. In fact, sometimes it’s great to be a follower — when you are learning something new or want to be taken on an adventure. It’s almost impossible to be a leader if you struggle with the 3 A’s.

Leaders fight the 3 A’s:

Action Step: Begin to fight the 3 A’s in your life. Start with the one that most resonates with you. Do you need to get rid of some ambivalent relationships? Do you need to set a plan for yourself? Do you need to find activities that truly excite you? This is how you can become a leader.

What skills are you currently missing that are preventing you from achieving your goals?

Over and over again, our students give us specific interpersonal skills like the ones above — charisma, communication, confidence. But our third most popular answer? Productivity. Specifically, our students say:

People School is an intensive 12-step program to advance your people skills. This virtual training is geared towards high-achieving professionals who want to level up their career success.

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